Getting Away From It All

Now that school is almost out I’m making plans for my son, Sam and I to travel during summer vacation. I’d love to go to Paris, but wouldn’t you know it, he’d rather go to Disneyworld. I suppose breakfast with Mickey and Goofy is better than my 8-year-old protesting through the Louvre, “Can we go now?” I’m always looking for ways to combine Sam’s version of “awesome” and my yearning for a grownup experience.

BOTTOM LINE

My girlfriends who are married tell me that traveling with children is tough even with husband in tow. There’s no doubt that doing it without a spouse or companion is even more challenging. Just carrying the bags alone is harder.

Since traveling is one of my great passions I want to share this with my son. Long before I became a mom I loved to hit the road. Immediately after Sam was born I made him part of the experience. In fact when he was six weeks old we flew to New York from Los Angeles. It was a fantastic trip and I loved showing him the “Big Apple”. Of course he doesn’t remember it, but having my baby with me, is what made the trip so wonderful. Later that first year we went to Idaho and I drove across the state. Despite the paraphernalia you need to bring the younger the child is when you start this adventure the better they acclimate to change. They are also learning in ways you can’t even imagine. At 8, Sam loves to travel. He loves hotels, airplanes and new experiences. As a rule I look for vacations that give us plenty of time together and also some time for ourselves. I stay at hotels that are child friendly and have a pool or a playroom. That way Sam can unwind after we’ve traveled or been out sightseeing. I include him in the choice so the experience is satisfying for both of us and I make sure our day is about things he likes to do and I like to do. If we’re visiting a museum I bring a camera for him, as well art supplies to get his creative juices going. I get maps and books in advance about where we’re going and we spend time daydreaming. After we get home we put together a scrapbook of our adventure.

TRAVEL TIPS

  • Join other friends and families. It’s more fun for the kids and it gives you a chance to be with adults and have some time for yourself.

  • Most large hotels have a list of bonded, licensed baby sitters. Make sure you tell your children that you are going to leave them for awhile and how long you will be gone.

  • A good way to travel as a single parent family is with another single parent family and take along a nanny that you can both share.

  • Find a travel agent that specializes in family travel with an emphasis on single parent travel.

  • Try Hosteling International (for great deals and an opportunity to meet people from all over the world.

  • Border crossing can be quite serious. The real concern is kidnapping, so the more documentation you have the better.

  • Have passports

  • Have birth certificates or citizenship papers

  • Have proof of custody (if the father is not on the birth certificates this is obviously not necessary)

  • If you have shared custody, you need a letter of permission from the father to go to another country with the kids.

  • If you’re taking a road trip prepare to make frequent stops so everyone can unwind. Let your kids be in charge of the map and bring their own toys, games and books on tape. Have a tape player with headphones for your child’s own music time so you can listen to the radio. This is also a try a good opportunity to play word games and have sing-a-longs.

  • Some colleges have family camps during the summer. There are lots of activities and other single families attend. You don’t have to be an alumnus of the school. Sam and I went to the University of Santa Barbara family camp when he was 2. They had excellent childcare, which was provided by the students in the psychology and education departments. The food was cafeteria style and we stayed in a dorm room. It was lots of fun participating with other family’s in-group activities.

  • For a more leisurely vacation Club Ed, cruises, family resorts and tours are good options. They are not that expensive and have a lot of services and support. Remember getting there is part of the fun. Sam and I Iove traveling on a ship. We just recently went to Baja, Mexico and besides the adventure I got in some shopping. There was children’s camp, that Sam sometimes wanted to go to, but generally we could just hang out together. After 10pm they had a game room set up for a sleep over with baby-sitters. I got to spend time gambling, taking in a show and meeting other adults.

  • On long plane rides bring lots of distractions. Pack new toys and books and bring them out along the way. When Sam was 3 or 4 I used to wrap things in little boxes and he’d be thrilled to find even an old toy. Tearing up the paper was half the fun.

  • Be sure you consider your child’s eating habits and be prepared to supplement his/her diet if they are finicky. I always bring peanut butter and jelly for emergencies. Request a small refrigerator for the room.

  • To take the edge off your young traveler. Have your child take a bath and then after they get to sleep take one yourself.

  • Have a good time and take lots of pictures. The scrapbook you build together will prepare you for your next adventure. Maybe next year your child will be ready for Paris.